Sometimes, I'm F*ing Angry...Here's How I Deal with That:Healing + Empowerment
April 12, 2024
Recently, I facilitated a group call where the prevailing emotion was anger.
Anger with people, anger at the world, and perhaps most significantly, anger with oneself.
It was a significant moment where these women voiced what they'd been afraid to say out loud. Somehow, in our culture, being seen as or feeling angry is often perceived as a flaw. That we’ll be seen as weak, among other things.
Let's be real—anger doesn't always feel good. It's exhausting to carry it around, but that exhaustion serves a purpose.
Here's a glimpse into some of my own anger:
I'm angry that I had to quit drinking.
I'm angry that those I expected to support me didn't fight for me.
I'm angry that I lost my step-dad.
I'm angry that I feel denied my grief.
I'm angry that I had to rebuild myself alone.
I'm angry that there's still work and healing to be done.
I’m angry that I didn’t start sooner in learning how to do the work, to heal, and to deal with what made me angry
That’s a lot to keep in my body and mind… pent up with nowhere to go. It’s imperative that I acknowledge and deal with it.
Which is why anger is an entire module in my main course, for good reason. As women, we often suppress our anger because it's misunderstood. We're labelled as hysterical or a bitch if we dare to express it.
When anger spikes, it's often an attempt to reclaim power and control. It's a complex equation—
fear + another challenging emotion + perceived loss of control = anger.
Yet, too often, we deny ourselves permission to feel angry until it erupts in unfortunate and unexpected ways.
Unchecked, anger becomes toxic, impeding our ability to lead fulfilling lives.
Anger can come up in big ways - like an explosion and everyone knows about it. Or it can come up in small, passive ways like stress eating, excessive drinking, or sarcasm (lets not forget that the Greek root of "sarcasm" is "sarkazein," which means "to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer." , .)
It keeps us small and stuck, impacting our communication, tensing our bodies, and even impacting our health.
So how do we deal with our anger?
1) Awareness is the first step.
2) Finding meaningful ways to diffuse it.
Here are two powerful methods I've found to be tremendously effective.
Rage on the Page Exercise (learned this from Gabby Bernstein):
Set a timer for 20 minutes.
Complete the sentence stem "I am angry about/because/with ________."
Write nonstop for 10 minutes.
Listen to binaural beats for 10-20 minutes afterward. Here’s a link Focus Music, Binaural Beats Concentration Music for Studying, Super Intelligence
Optionally, burn (safely) what you wrote as another means of releasing it.
This exercise provides a safe space to acknowledge and release pent-up anger, bringing clarity and relief. It's about shining a light on what's hidden in the dark corners of our minds, reducing its power over us.
The Power of Somatic Breath Work:
In my journey of healing and empowerment, somatic breath work has been an invaluable tool for navigating and transforming my relationship with anger. By combining conscious breathing techniques with somatic awareness, I've learned to release stored tension and emotion from my body, allowing for a deeper sense of relaxation and inner peace.
Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Anger?
If you're tired of letting anger control your life and you're ready to reclaim your power, I invite you to join me in my 4-week somatic breath work course. This transformative program is open for registration today, offering you the opportunity to learn personalized strategies, including somatic breath work techniques, to navigate and transform your relationship with anger. Together, we'll empower you to live a life of greater peace, authenticity, and fulfillment.
Don't let anger hold you back any longer. Register for my 4-week somatic breath work course today and get started on your journey toward healing and empowerment.Breathe it in, be deliberate, and be good to yourself!
Chelsea
aka The Deliberate One
Seeking additional support? Book a complimentary 45 Minute connection session with me. Click here to book!
