“Calm down.” “Just relax.”
If those words have ever made your blood boil, you're not crazy — you’re in a nervous system state that can’t relax on command.

You’re not broken.
You’re burnt out.

And trying to mindset your way out of stress while your body is still in survival mode only makes you feel worse.

The good news? There’s a way out — one that starts with understanding what your stress is actually doing to you, and what your body needs to truly heal.

Why We Self-Sabotage Even When We Want Better

It sounds backwards, right? But here’s the thing:

Our brains are wired for what’s familiar—not what’s better.

If you’ve lived in chaos, shame, overdoing, or emotional suppression, then joy and peace can actually feel unsafe.
So we unconsciously reach for something—like alcohol—that brings us back to what we know.

The pattern becomes:

“I want to feel good… but not too good.”

So we numb.
We drink.
We sabotage.

Because somewhere deep down, there’s a belief that says:
“This is as good as it gets.”
Or worse—“I don’t know who I’d be without this.”

I didn’t hit rock bottom—but I knew stress and overwhelm were running my life. Here’s how quitting drinking and building a daily nervous system practice helped me heal from chronic stress, shift old patterns, and find confidence again.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not stuck.
You’re simply standing at the edge of your next chapter—and resistance is trying to keep you "safe."
But what if that fear you’re feeling is actually proof that you’re on the right path?
In this week’s episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on why we resist the very things we want most, how stress is quietly stealing your power, and the simple tools that can help you say yes to what’s next.

We’re always rushing, aren’t we? Rushing to get out the door, to the next task, to the next milestone. Even when we’re not late, there’s this compulsion to move fast—because speed feels productive (we loooove being productive don’t we?!), and we’ve been conditioned to believe that more, faster, harder is the way to success.

We fill our lives with responsibilities, obligations, and endless to-do lists, believing that our worth is measured by what we accomplish. We wear every hat we can, pushing ourselves to produce more, to care for more, to be more. But what happens when we stop?

Change can be a difficult dance with steps forward and sometimes many steps back. This will help explain what’s happening in the change process so you understand and breathe a little easier.

I thought I was doing everything right—reading, learning, checking all the self-care boxes. But I was still stuck, circling the same doubts, holding back in ways I couldn’t put my finger on. The truth? I was just going through the motions. Growth isn’t about more knowledge or another self-help book—it’s about trusting yourself enough to go deeper. And that changed everything.

And that’s before we even talk about what happens when this carries into adulthood. The frustration at work, the anger in relationships, the stress that builds because no one ever taught them what to do with these big emotions.

Fast forward to now—I walk into any room with ease. I own my energy. I don’t need a drink to take the edge off because there’s no edge anymore.

What changed?

It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t a magic mindset shift.

Your grounded, centred, present feeling shouldn’t stop in the AM.  

So, you journaled this morning. Maybe you meditated. You even sipped your herbal tea while watching the sunrise. Sounds like a peaceful start to your day, right?

And by effectively, I mean handling stress without numbing out/shutting down with social media, food, alcohol, netflix, or drugs (even cannabis)

I kept chasing carrots - bigger salaries, better titles, more responsibilities, more high profile projects, different relationships and all it ever did was prove that I NEVER ended up feeling better.  

It’s about becoming the person who shows up for herself—and changes her life in the process.

I was caught in a loop of stress and overwhelm. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to find the balance I craved (and so desperately needed).

It wasn’t until I learned how to take control of my internal state—my energy, my focus, and my emotions—that everything began to change.

Maybe this year has been full of highs and lows. Maybe you’ve struggled with consistency, feeling like you couldn’t stick with the habits or routines you know you need.

Maybe you’ve felt frustrated by a lack of discipline, as if you were spinning your wheels but never really getting traction.

For many people, the holidays aren’t just about joy and connection. They’re a stark reminder of loneliness, grief, or struggles with self-worth, boundaries, and self-control. The pressures of hosting, gift-giving, and attending every event can leave us exhausted before the season even begins.

Perfectionism can feel like a badge of honour, but it silently robs us of joy, progress, and peace. Wanting excellence or having standards isn’t inherently bad, but perfectionism takes it to the extreme, paralyzing us with fear of failure or rejection. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck, unsure of how to move forward, or overwhelmed by (often self imposed) impossibly high standards, perfectionism is holding you back.

Imagine waking up each day feeling one hundred percent proud of yourself, filled with pure, unfiltered happiness. Imagine how that would shift the way you move through life.