The holidays don’t have to suck
Pouring from an Empty Cup: How I Transformed My Christmases
December 16, 2024
Christmas is often a magical time of year, but for many—including my past self—it can also be filled with stress, overindulgence, and a touch too much holiday cheer. And by cheer, I mean champagne before noon and Bailey’s-laden coffee cups by 10 a.m.
When I worked in the construction industry, Christmas often looked like big bottles of Bailey’s paired with Tim Horton’s coffee in the office, early mimosas, and the dreaded (or eagerly awaited) office Christmas party. My own festive stories? Let’s just say they included sparkly red high heels propped up on a boardroom table while I was fast asleep and obnoxiously pressing an air horn button during a boss’s speech.
While those moments bring a laugh now, they also carry a pang of shame—a reminder of how far I’ve come. Shame, I’ve learned, is an important indicator of growth. It’s a signal that certain behaviours are no longer in alignment with who you are today.
The Emotional Weight of the Holidays
For many people, the holidays aren’t just about joy and connection. They’re a stark reminder of loneliness, grief, or struggles with self-worth, boundaries, and self-control. The pressures of hosting, gift-giving, and attending every event can leave us exhausted before the season even begins.
I know I’m not alone in waking up after a holiday event thinking, “What was I doing? Where’s my purse—or my phone?” For those of us grappling with a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol, emotional regulation, or loss, the holidays can amplify those struggles. I was jolly AF and had all the t-shirts … that really solidified how pervasive alcohol is with the holidays, like “The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year,” while secretly battling anxiety, depression, and a deep sense of loneliness.
If this resonates with you, please know you’re not alone. I’ve been there—and I’ve worked hard to come out the other side.
The Vicious Cycle of Holiday Overindulgence
I used alcohol to numb big feelings I didn’t know how to process—grief, anger, loneliness. What I didn’t realize was how much alcohol was exacerbating those very emotions. My therapist taught me that drinking was depleting my brain’s serotonin and dopamine, leaving me more anxious, depressed, and emotionally unstable. It was a vicious cycle fueled by exhaustion, overcommitment, and societal norms equating alcohol with fun.
Breaking that cycle wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. Christmas 2019 was my first without my stepdad, and it was a painfully low point. By January 2020, I decided to quit drinking altogether. That decision paved the way for incredible clarity and growth.
The following Christmas looked entirely different. I embraced slow, intentional traditions—making handmade ornaments from wine corks, soaking in the beauty of holiday lights, and creating meaningful moments. Without the haze of alcohol or the pressure to meet everyone’s expectations, I experienced what Christmas was truly meant to feel like: peace, joy, and connection.
Creating New Holiday Traditions
Now, five years later, my Christmases are full of intentionality. I no longer stress about gifts, overcommit to events, or derail my self-care rituals. I focus on quality time with loved ones, marveling at sparkly lights, and singing Christmas songs (even if my partner doesn’t love my rendition of Jingle Bells (the Frank Sinatra version).
I know it’s not easy to rewrite your holiday story, but I promise—it’s possible. Imagine a Christmas where mornings are calm, gatherings are intentional, and joy comes from being fully present, not from a glass of wine or a packed calendar. When you find that peace within yourself, the holidays take on a whole new meaning.
A Deliberate Holiday Season
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself: What would a slower, more deliberate holiday season look like for me?
Here are a few reminders as we head into the holidays:
“No” is a full sentence. It’s okay to set boundaries with events or people that drain your energy (even your own family).
Seek connection over consumption. Focus on the joy of meaningful moments, not the pressure to overindulge.
Prioritize your self-care. Stick to the habits and routines that help you feel grounded and well.
You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. You can rewrite your holiday story, starting today.
Join the Conversation
If this message resonates with you, I’d love to hear about your holiday challenges or triumphs. Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out—I’m here to support you.
For more tips on navigating the holidays (and life) with intention, check out my podcast or YouTube channel. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share with anyone who might need a little extra holiday support.
Wishing you a season filled with peace, joy, and presence.
And remember: breathe it in, be deliberate, and most importantly, be good to yourself.
Chelsea
The Deliberate One
