Can we stop trying to be perfect?
December 9, 2024
It’s heavy, exhausting, stressful, and you’re too cute for that.
This is how I’m stepping out of the perfection trap…
Perfectionism can feel like a badge of honour, but it silently robs us of joy, progress, and peace. Wanting excellence or having standards isn’t inherently bad, but perfectionism takes it to the extreme, paralyzing us with fear of failure or rejection. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck, unsure of how to move forward, or overwhelmed by (often self imposed) impossibly high standards, perfectionism is holding you back.
Why Perfectionism Keeps Us Stuck
Perfectionism is rooted in a fear of inadequacy or rejection. It tricks us into thinking that if we just do things perfectly, we’ll finally feel worthy, loved, or safe. The problem is, perfection is unattainable—it’s a moving target. The relentless pursuit of it keeps us in a cycle of procrastination, self-criticism, and burnout. Instead of taking imperfect action, we freeze, worried we’ll never measure up.
How Perfectionism Shows Up in Everyday Life
Perfectionism doesn’t always look like having a spotless home or being excellent at work. It can be more subtle:
• you delay starting a project because you feel you need more time, resources, or knowledge to do it “right.”
• Spending endless hours refining a task or project, long past the point of diminishing returns.
• Constantly second-guessing yourself or feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough.
• Avoiding situations where there’s a risk of failure, criticism, or imperfection.
• Spending too much time obsessing over minor details that don’t matter in the big picture.
• Measuring yourself against others and feeling like you always fall short.
Feel familiar? If so, you’re not alone. The good news is, perfectionism isn’t a life sentence—it’s a habit that can be unlearned.
3 Ways to Break Free from Perfectionism
1. Adopt a “Progress Over Perfection” Mindset
Give yourself permission to do things imperfectly. Focus on progress and effort rather than flawless outcomes. Celebrate small wins, and remember: Done is better than perfect.
ex: If you’ve been putting off a creative project, set a timer for 20 minutes and just start. Commit to finishing something, even if it’s not perfect.
2. Reframe Failure as Feedback
Failure is a natural and necessary part of growth (you can listen to that podcast episode here.) Instead of avoiding it, learn to see it as an opportunity to learn and improve. Ask yourself, “What can I take from this experience?”
ex: If you make a mistake at work, look at it as a chance to improve your process rather than a reflection of your worth.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself the way you would to your best friend. Stop harsh self-criticism and use kind, encouraging words. Acknowledge your humanity and the fact that no one is perfect.
ex: If you miss a deadline or forget something important, remind yourself, “I’m human, and I’m doing the best I can.”
The Path to Freedom
Breaking free from perfectionism doesn’t happen overnight, but each small step adds up. By prioritizing progress, reframing failure, and practicing self-compassion, you can stop perfectionism from keeping you stuck and start moving forward with more ease and confidence.
Want to dive deeper? My latest podcast episode on The Deliberate Exchange is all about perfectionism—why it keeps us stuck and how we can free ourselves from its grip.
➡️Click here to listen now and discover tips to shift out of perfectionism and into a more intentional, joyful life.
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• Hit subscribe to never miss an episode.
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Take the first step toward freedom from perfectionism—listen now!
Breathe it in, be deliberate, and take care of you.
Chelsea
aka The Deliberate One
