I turned 40…
‘A woman’s emotional life is her strength - a key task is to learn to not let it overwhelm her.
Then to not let it fade away.’
Abigail Shrier
June 17, 2024
In a social media post, I shared my profound sense of gratitude for where I am today…. this was the post:
‘‘No booze
No meds
No Botox
No fake eyelashes
No hair dye
No helplessness
No crippling insecurity
No lack of self worth
No lack of values
No fragmented pieces of self
No stuck energy
The purest, most original, form I’ve ever been in. And the one that feels most like home, inside and out.’’
This is not just a social media facade; it’s a deep, genuine truth.
I’ve earned this feeling, deserve it, and know that I’m worth of it.
This feeling has also been hard-won.
Reflecting on the past year, I realize just how challenging it was. My best friend even noted the other night that last year had pushed me to my limits, but she could see that I’m now on the other side of it.
There were so many moments when I felt vulnerable, weak, stressed, overwhelmed, broken, inadequate, out of my depth, suffocated... all the things. And yet, I kept moving forward.
A lot happened last year:
Moving
Building a house
Zeroing my bank account to build that house
Living with my father, whom I hadn't lived with since I was five
Permit delays
Continuing to build a relationship with my partner
Continuing to build my business
Dealing with massive financial insecurities
An unfortunate chainsaw accident with our dog (she lived)
Losing a long-standing friendship
And there’s probably more that I’m forgetting.
I was pushed to my limits.
How much could I take?
How much could I concede?
How much could I surrender?
There were moments when I had no idea what the hell I was doing or how I was going to make it through. There were some very low points.
But there were also many, many lessons learned.
Among the top lessons was learning to actually use new ways of dealing with extreme stress, anxiety, and depressive states. It’s one thing to have the tools; it’s quite another to be able to actually use them effectively.
I sacrificed social outings, events, and some professional growth to be where I am today and to grow through what I went through last year.
Here’s what I love about my mindset now:
I understand that every experience (good and bad) was necessary. Before, I would have wallowed in ‘woe is me’ and felt it was wholly unfair to go through such tough initiations.
I know what tools I have and when to use them to actually feel better, instead of just going through the motions to check the boxes.
I know how to collect evidence of what helps me (and, of course, what doesn’t).
Two pieces of advice I tell my clients and the groups I facilitate, when they’re in the harder parts of their journey:
1) Everything (good and bad) all happens for a reason. These essential experiences shape you, challenge you, and ultimately guide you toward growth and understanding.
2) Start collecting evidence. Evidence of what you feel, what works, and what doesn’t. Use that evidence as a valuable compass to continually move forward, even when it’s hard.
If you’ve ever felt like life was throwing too much at you, if you’ve ever questioned your strength or doubted your resilience, know that you are not alone. We all have our moments of struggle, but it’s how we rise from them that defines us.
Can you relate? I’m here to help you navigate your own challenges and transform your struggles into strengths. Reach out to me for personalized guidance and support. Together, we can turn your pain into purpose and help you achieve the life you deserve and LOVE!
So, here’s to collecting our own evidence and using it to navigate our way to better, stronger, and more fulfilled lives.
Breathe it in, be deliberate, and be good to yourself!
Chelsea
aka The Deliberate One
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