Someone once told me…‘‘Life is hard, get a helmet”. Finding the good even when life makes it feel hard to do
June 14, 2024
You and I both know that life can be incredibly tough sometimes. We all have our personal demons and struggles, but instead of diving into the specifics of what makes life hard, I want to shift the focus to something more … helpful.
Something that fuels your next moves and creates clarity, focus, and direction.
Yes, our past experiences shape who we are today, and of course they play a role in our current circumstances. However, ruminating on these hardships doesn't necessarily help us move forward.
What I believe truly matters, is finding the good amidst the challenges.
Understanding Each Other's Struggles
I may not know the specifics of what you’ve been through, what you’ve experienced, just as you might not know what I’ve been through. Whatever it is that you have gone through, I offer you my full love and support.
But what I do know is that we all have the capacity to find goodness and positivity, even in the darkest times. This is what I want to share with you today:
How to find the good parts of life even when it’s hard.
Finding the Good Within Yourself
You’ve heard me say this before, it all starts with you. It's crucial to find the good within yourself before anything. Doing so allows everything else to fall into place. This means focusing on the aspects of your life that bring you joy and fulfilment. Unearthing the good that is within you.
We’re shifting from ruminating on past traumas, unfavourable habits, or negative experiences, and making a conscious effort to move your attention to positive thoughts, habits, and activities that uplift your spirit.
Seeing the Good in Others
Equally important is the ability to see the good in others - which I know can be difficult in some people. Every person you encounter has their own set of struggles, but they also have qualities worth appreciating. By recognizing and acknowledging these positive traits, you not only improve your relationships but also enhance your own perspective on life.
Becoming Resourced When Life is Hard
If life throws a bunch of sh!t at us, we can end up feeling depleted and overwhelmed. When that happens, we can’t just curl up and retreat (although I know how comfortable that is).
It's essential to become resourced – to equip yourself with the tools and strategies that help you navigate through it. Breathe, move, find something that makes you laugh your ass off, talk to your loved ones, and find activities that recharge your energy. To do this, lead with the question ‘what brings me joy’, what makes me feel better energetically/physically (start with these two and the mental aspect soon follows)
Moving Beyond Complaining
I know the ‘woe is me’ feeling sooo well. It's natural to feel down about our hardships, but constantly lamenting them doesn't bring us any closer to happiness. I recently heard on a podcast that depression often stems from ruminating on negative thoughts and experiences. What if, instead, we focused on feeling good and cultivating positivity in our lives? This shift in mindset has made a significant difference in my ability to process and move through the hard times with greater ease and speed… (not that it’s a race). I want to spend my time being problem aware and solution focused. Complaining about what’s making my life hard has never been a great expenditure of my time or energy, nor done much to change it.
Embracing Positivity
Personally, I experienced a significant change when I stopped chasing a diagnosis and obsessing over what was wrong with me. Instead, I began to concentrate on the things that made me feel better. This shift in focus allowed me to start feeling genuinely happy. By prioritizing positive experiences and emotions, I found a way to rise above what I felt was keeping me down.
Life's hardships are inevitable, but they don't have to define us. By finding the good in ourselves, in others, and in our circumstances, we can change how we view things, our perspective, our well-being.
It requires a conscious effort to focus on positivity and cultivate happiness in our lives.
This approach won't eliminate challenges, but it will help us navigate them with greater resilience and ease.
Three Quick Steps to Start Shifting Your Mindset…
Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts
Pay attention to your internal dialogue. When you notice a negative thought, ask yourself if it's based on facts or assumptions (aka Objective vs subjective). Challenge these thoughts by looking for evidence that contradicts them and replace them with more balanced, realistic perspectives.
Create Positive Affirmations
Develop a set of positive affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them daily. Statements like "I create a capable and strong sense of self," "I choose to focus on the positive," and "I grow through challenges" can help rewire your brain to adopt a more positive outlook.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive influences. This includes spending time with supportive people, consuming uplifting content, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. The more you immerse yourself in positivity, the easier it becomes to maintain a positive mindset.
Are you ready to transform your life and shift your mindset towards positivity and growth? I've been where you are – feeling stuck and overwhelmed – but I've learned how to turn my life around, and I want to help you do the same. Book a call with me today, and let's work together to find the good in your life and cultivate a mindset of resilience and positivity. Your journey to a brighter, more fulfilling future starts now.
Breathe it in, be deliberate, and be good to yourself!
Chelsea
aka The Deliberate One
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