From Overwhelm to Awesome
Practical Advice and Steps to Reclaim your confidence and joy
July 8, 2024
You know the feeling…
You're short-fused.
You know that if someone adds one more thing to your plate, you’re either going to scream or break down crying.
Everything feels like it’s too much.
As you’re busy taking care of literally everyone and everything, you’re taking zero time for yourself.
And because you’re taking no time for yourself, you settle for things that comfort you, that allow you to tune out:
endless scrolling,
binging TV, or food,
maybe cannabis or alcohol.
The Toll on Your Body and Mind
You’re feeling worse about your energy levels; your body feels tense and uncomfortable. Carrying around weight you can’t lose. You’re exhausted.
You just want someone to recognize all the juggling and the work that you’re doing.
And…
You’re waiting for something to click to get you out of this funk.
You’re waiting for someone to offer you help.
You’re wishing someone would acknowledge you and tell you you’re doing a great job, that they appreciate you.
The Bad News
The click isn’t coming. You’re waiting for motivation, but motivation is a fickle mistress. It’s impacted by your energy level, schedules, and bandwidth.
If you’re already feeling stuck, it’s not going to come.
The help isn’t (necessarily) coming either, not to the degree you need it anyway. Here might be why…
If you’re like I was, you’ve spent a considerable amount of time in this mode. Taking care of everything, doing all the things, people naturally assume you’ve ’got this’.
They’ve maybe even offered help before, and you've turned it down, furthering your martyrdom of being the good girl. Punctuated by
‘I’m fine’.
‘Don’t worry.’
‘It’s ok, I’ll do it’.
Because naturally, you also suffer from perfectionism and they won’t do it right, right?
Also, they’re not mind readers. They can’t possibly know what kind of help you actually need. You might not even know that either.
The acknowledgment is hard to come by too. They likely don’t recognize that you need it nor do they understand how to deliver it. They’ve got their own stuff going on in their internal and external worlds. Most importantly, it’s not their job to build you up either. Sorry, not sorry.
The Good News
Instead of searching for that which might never come (motivation), it’s best to create discipline. It’s there if you look for it.
It often means dispelling whatever it is you’re telling yourself (‘I don’t have time,’ ‘I don’t have energy’). Call yourself on your own excuses and do the damn thing anyway.
Build slowly with consistency, planning and preparing for what you need to do, which will make it easier to maintain long term.
If I had a magic wand to give you the help that you need, where you didnt have to be worried about what others will think - that you’re weak, or complaining, or ungrateful(which, by the way, is in your own mind) - what would it be? Someone else taking the kids to the game one night a week? Making the meals one week out of four in a month? Giving you help getting a basement cleared out? Find what that help looks like for you.
The other part is learning to help yourself.
Stop saying yes to things that aren’t a resounding yes or that you know you don’t have time or mental/emotional bandwidth for. I promise that in saying no, nothing bad will happen. Even if it’s just temporary while you dig yourself out of this shitty hole you find yourself in. Learn the kind of help you need and then learn how to ask for it.
Instead of waiting for someone to tell you what a good girl you are, instead of waiting for someone to give you a badge of honour for the things you do in a given day, start acknowledging it for yourself. Speak it or write it, but really take note of these awesome things you do. Start a journal with the sentence stem…
‘I’m proud of myself for…,’ ‘I did this and it was hard, but I did it’.
It will feel so much richer and you’re building from the inside out. Then, when a person comes along and says thank you for all you do or good job, it’s just gravy!!
Also, please start acknowledging when it’s hard or feels impossible. This will alleviate any building resentment because you’re not squashing it down anymore. When you don’t acknowledge that, it festers and eats away at you, gnawing on that already fragile string of yours.
The Even Better News
To get to the point where you can take this good news and run with it, excavation is required. The unconscious blocks, the limiting beliefs that make up your current foundation need to be unearthed.
You also need to get back into regulation. The bad habits of scrolling, eating shitty food, not managing your stress, and not moving your body will naturally have your nervous system overloaded.
It will feel like you’re barely keeping your head above water.
The Great News
This is my specialty. And I’m really good at it. I ask the questions to excavate and unearth what you want and need. I help you get systems in place that make it easy to say no and set other boundaries. I help you create opportunities in your daily life to move and manage your energy. And I do all of that with love, support, and accountability. I’m in your corner.
Ready to get out of overwhelm in your life? It starts with one free clarity call with me. Find out what’s possible and how to get it!
In the meantime…
Breathe it in, Be Deliberate, and please be good to yourself!
Chelsea
aka The Deliberate One
Seeking additional support? Book a complimentary 45 Minute connection session with me. Click here to book!
