Two lies I used to tell myself…
June 3, 2024
I’ve used to tell myself two lies: "I don’t have the time," and "I don’t have the money." When I heard myself say these, it was a means of justifying why I’m not doing the things that I need to be doing (mainly in the self-care department).
The True Cost of Not Taking Care of Yourself
Consider this: Do you have time for a burnout episode that leaves you sick and unable to function for days? This happens when you neglect to rest, take care of yourself, and regulate your well-being. The irony is that not taking time for yourself now could force you to take even more time later due to illness or burnout.
This was a cycle I was in. Work, work, work, take care of everyone else, shitty diet, no self-care, too much alcohol. Then I would come down with a massive cold or depressive episode that would land me in bed/on the couch for days. Then the recovery time was always longer because I still didn’t do much to care for my body.
Similarly, can you afford to take time off because you’ve pushed yourself too hard? When you’re juggling multiple responsibilities, unexpected downtime can be costly.
What I’ve learned is that you'll pay either way—whether it's in small increments now or in larger sums later. The cost varies based on when and how you choose to invest in yourself.
Rethinking Your Constraints
If you have the time to binge-watch Netflix or some other show, you have time to do something for yourself.
The reality was, I didn’t want to put in the work because I knew some parts of showing up would be hard. I didn’t want to show up for myself because I didn’t value myself.
I applied value to spending money every morning on coffee and a shitty bagel at Tim Hortons, or UberEats Cineplex popcorn with a bottle of red wine because I was ‘so busy’ or deserved a ‘treat’ and scoff at the cost of healthier food options (which also meant I’d have to spend time preparing it). I valued bullshit entertainment and bad habits over actions that would:
Actually make me feel better
Bring me closer to the person I wanted to become and the life I wanted to live
Talk about lacking alignment in values… *eye roll*
The contrast is now I recognize when to push and when to rest/reset (with effective practices like somatic breath work).
I’m more aware of when I’m spending too much on dog reels and supplementing that with activities that have an actual ROI for my wellbeing. I value activities and foods that make me feel great over the ones that make me feel like garbage (and in some cases cause damage to my system).
While it’s not ‘perfect’ or 100%, it’s remarkable the change in thought, belief, and behaviour!
Here’s how I started looping out of the two fallacies of no time/no money.
Action Steps for Managing Time and Money (actual questions to ask yourself are below!)
Spend a week tracking how you spend your time. Note down all activities, from work to leisure, and see where your time goes. The key here is to be honest with yourself…(how many HOURS have I spent watching dog reels or Brad Mondo hair nightmare videos?)
Set Clear Priorities…Write down your top three personal or professional goals. Consider how aligning your time and money with these goals can bring you closer to achieving them. (guess what doesn’t get me closer to how I want to feel and the life I want to live … Brad Mondo and dog reels)
Value Assessment… Reflect on what activities and expenses genuinely add value to your life and contribute to your well-being and growth. (I could argue that the dog reels bring me smiles and laughter. But so could spending time outside with my own dog for the same amount of time…I know which has the greater ROI {return on investment})
Create a Balanced Schedule… you can’t always be doing things for everyone else. You need time for you! Start time blocking: Use specific blocks of time each day for essential activities like work, self-care, exercise, and relaxation. Stick to this schedule as much as possible.(you make time for the important, or the unimportant will consume you.)
Breaks and Rest: Schedule regular breaks throughout your day/week/month to rest and recharge (as in make it an actual appointment in your calendar.. start showing up for yourself)
Budget for Self-Care. A client of mine told me that she has a self-care budget and it makes so much sense. Even in this household, if we’re contemplating an expenditure, we relate it to how it impacts our mental/physical health. It then becomes a no brainer because our value proposition has changed.
And for when you don’t actually have the money for things… I want to remind you of the many free resources there are:
Youtube for workouts and motivation (here’s two that I use daily)
Walking outside. It’s free.
Breath work - this is inherent in you. A simple practice of deepening your breath, consciously breathing 5 counts in, 5 counts out and being aware of whether you’re breathing regularly through your nose or mouth are excellent (and free) points to start with
Get Curious About Your Own Time and Money Objections:
Time:
What are the top three activities that consume most of your free time?
How do these activities help or hinder your goals and well-being?
Money:
What are the top three categories where you spend the most money each month?
How do these expenses align with your values and long-term goals?
Self-Care:
What are three self-care activities you enjoy but often neglect?
How can you incorporate at least one of these activities into your weekly routine?
Personal Growth:
What is one area of personal growth you’ve been putting off due to perceived lack of time or money?
What small step can you take this week to start investing in that area?
Investing in yourself doesn’t require large amounts of time or money upfront. It’s about making conscious choices to prioritize your well-being and growth. By honestly auditing your current habits, setting clear priorities, and regularly looking at your progress, you can ensure that you’re making meaningful investments in your future.
Remember, working in 1%, consistent inputs can lead to significant changes over time.
I want to hear from you, what are you spending too much time on, not enough time on, or where are the changes necessary?
Breathe it in, be deliberate, and be good to yourself!
Chelsea
aka The Deliberate One
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