When Life Shifts: How Unprocessed Grief Keeps You Stuck in Stress
February 10, 2025
Grief isn’t just about death. It’s about endings.
Divorce. Job loss. A friendship that fades away. A version of yourself you had to leave behind.
We don’t always recognize these moments as grief—but our bodies do. And if we don’t process it, that grief doesn’t disappear. It stays trapped in our nervous system as stress.
And stress, when left unresolved, quietly drains your energy, chips away at your confidence, and keeps you from moving forward.
The Hidden Cost of Unprocessed Grief
I know this firsthand.
When I went through my divorce, I grieved the life I thought I’d have. But instead of giving myself space to feel it, I pushed it away.
When I lost my job and then walked away from that very secure industry/career after 16 years, I told myself to move on quickly—but deep down, I felt like I’d lost a significant piece of my identity.
I had kept telling myself to “be strong.” To focus on the future. To not dwell on what was gone.
The stress lingered. It showed up in my body as exhaustion. In my mind as self-doubt. In my relationships as resentment and withdrawal.
And that’s the thing about grief—it doesn’t just go away if you ignore it. It turns into chronic stress. It keeps you stuck.
But the moment that truly shook me was watching my stepfather die. Sitting beside him in those final days, witnessing life slip away, once I got out of the cloud of exhaustion and overwhelm, I realized with stark clarity how fleeting our time really is. There was no more waiting for the ‘right moment’ to start living fully. His death became a catalyst—one that forced me to confront everything I had been avoiding. The stress, the compounding grief I had previously experienced, the weight of unspoken emotions—I saw, maybe for the first time, how much I had been carrying and how little time we actually have to make things right with ourselves.
Why This Matters (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
We live in a culture that wants us to be resilient but rarely teaches how to effectively by resilient and how to actually move through loss. (You can listen to this episode of the podcast where I break down why resilience is a necessary skill and how to develop it.)
Instead, we learn to suppress. To numb. To stay busy.
But unresolved grief creates a constant stress response in your body. And when that stress loop stays open, it affects everything:
~ You feel off but can’t quite pinpoint why.
~ You struggle with anxiety, overwhelm, or burnout.
~ You have trouble making decisions or trusting yourself.
~ You crave change but feel paralyzed when it comes to actually making it happen.
If this sounds familiar, know this: There is nothing wrong with you. Your body is simply stuck in an incomplete cycle. And you’ve likely not been taught how to close the cycle
Which means the solution isn’t just to “move on.” It’s to close the loop—fully, intentionally, and in a way that allows you to actually heal.
How to Start Closing the Stress Loop
Healing isn’t about pretending you’re okay. It’s about creating space to process, so your body can finally exhale.
Here’s what I did:
✔ Acknowledge what you’re grieving. Name it. Write it down. Say it out loud. What parts of your past self, relationships, or dreams are you still holding onto?
✔ Move your body. Stress and grief are physical experiences, and moving your body helps release them. Breathwork, stretching, shaking it out—even a short walk—can help signal to your nervous system that the threat has passed.
✔ Give yourself permission to feel. You don’t have to “get over it” overnight. You just have to let it move through you. Whether that’s crying, journaling, or sitting in stillness—grief wants to be felt.
✔ Breathe. The simplest, most powerful way to calm your nervous system. Take a deep breath in. Hold it for a second at the top. Exhale longer than your inhale. Repeat.
What Comes Next?
If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or exhausted, this might be why.
The grief process can be a lot and can feel lonely. You don’t have to figure it out alone.
This is exactly why I do the work I do—to show people what it looks like to move through stress, grief, and transition in a way that actually supports healing. So you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and peace.
In this week’s podcast episode, I’m shared my own journey through grief, the lessons I learned from it, and the exact steps I took to move through it.
‘‘Grief is not a problem to be solved; it is an experience to be carried. The goal is not to ‘get over it,’ but to find a way to honour what was while making space for what will be.”
– Unknown
In the meantime, breathe it in, be deliberate, and please be good to yourself!
Chelsea
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