You Are Not Stuck. You’re stronger than you think and can turn things around

October 21, 2024

If you think the problems you have right now are permanent, personal, or pervasive, you're going to keep feeling stuck.

Believing your problems will never change can leave you feeling hopeless. If you think, something like “Things will always be this hard.”, this belief stops you from even trying to make improvements, because you’ve already decided nothing will work.

When you see your problems as personal, you believe you are the problem. You might think, “I’m just not good enough” or “I’m not smart enough to succeed.” This leads to self-blame and shame, making it hard to see that external factors or past conditioning might be influencing your situation.

Seeing your problems as pervasive means you think they affect every single area of your life. If something goes wrong at work, for instance, you might think, “I’m a failure in everything” or “Nothing ever goes right for me.” This mindset makes it feel like there's no escape, when in reality, the issue is usually limited to one area.

These beliefs show up as a constant sense of defeat, low confidence, and a lack of motivation to change. They create blind spots (remember last week I talked about being too close.. read it here), making it difficult to see the possibility of solutions or to believe that you have the power to change your situation.

That’s why we can get caught in a belief loop that our struggles define us, but that belief is exactly what holds us back. The truth is, you can break through these limitations, but to do that, you need to change how you see yourself and then how you show up in the world.

I know this because I’ve been there. I used to think that my challenges—whether in my relationships, my work, or just how I felt about myself—were fixed. That’s just the way life was going to be.

Whenever I was feeling restless, not good enough, or craving change, I’d jump straight into surface-level fixes. I’d go on a crash diet, try the latest workout fad, cut my bangs, dye my hair, entertain new job offers, or even explore new relationships. Each time, it gave me a temporary sense of relief or excitement, but it never lasted.

No matter how much I changed the outside, I was still the same on the inside—stuck in the same patterns and limiting beliefs. It took me a while to realize that real transformation wasn’t about changing what I looked like or where I worked, but about addressing the deeper mindset gaps and beliefs that were actually holding me back.

There was also a small inkling inside of me that said ‘more was possible’, which was further reinforced by my first mentor/coach. She helped me  challenge my own limiting beliefs and rewire the way I responded to life. And slowly, my reality began to shift.

The only way I was able to move beyond feeling like my life was never going to change was by shifting my mindset, challenging my limiting beliefs, and transforming the habits that kept me trapped in the same cycles. And you can do that too.

The process starts with an honest inventory of your beliefs, habits, and conditioned responses—the things that are keeping you stuck. From there, you can begin the work of creating a new foundation, one built on beliefs and actions that actually support the life you want to live.

It’s about doing the deeper work that leads to lasting transformation. And that’s what I help my clients do every day. I guide them through this process because I’ve done it myself. I’ve experienced the power of mindset shifts and belief work, and I know it’s possible to live a life that feels completely different.

It feels like home.

Try these 3 Steps to Begin Shifting Your Mindset

1. Identify Your Most Limiting Belief
   Take five minutes today and ask yourself: What belief is keeping me stuck right now? Whether it’s about your worth, your abilities, or your future, write it down. Just seeing it on paper can make it less powerful. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself, “I’m not good enough to ask for a raise” or “I’ll never be able to stick to a healthy routine.”

   Why this works: Awareness is the first step to change. When you bring your limiting beliefs to light, you take away their control. You shift from operating unconsciously to making deliberate choices.

2. Interrupt the Habit
   Pay attention to one habit that doesn’t serve you, maybe it’s negative self-talk, procrastination, or people-pleasing. The next time you catch yourself falling into that habit, pause and choose a different action, no matter how small. Maybe you find yourself agreeing to help a friend/your parent with something even though you’re already overwhelmed. Instead of saying yes right away, pause. Take a breath, and ask yourself, “Is this something I really want to do?” That space you created to reflect gives you the power to set boundaries and say no when it doesn’t serve you.

   Why this works: Our habits are automatic responses, but they can be reprogrammed. The more often you interrupt an unhelpful habit, the easier it becomes to choose new behaviours that align with the life you want.

3. Visualize the You Who’s Free from Limitation
   Close your eyes and envision the version of yourself that has already moved beyond these limiting beliefs and habits. What does life look like? How do you feel?  Picture yourself confidently walking into a meeting and asking for the raise you deserve. Or imagine yourself sticking to a morning routine that energizes and excites you. Let yourself feel what it’s like to be that version of you, even for a few minutes. This practice helps rewire your brain to believe that change is possible.

   Why this works: Visualization creates a mental map for your brain to follow. When you consistently envision yourself free from your limitations, you begin to build the belief that it’s possible—and your actions start to align with that belief.

These steps may seem simple, but they can create a powerful shift. Even small, deliberate actions build momentum over time.

What’s Next?

If you’re ready to go deeper and want more guidance on how to break free from the patterns holding you back, I’m here to help. If you’re looking to transform your mindset, release limiting beliefs, or create new habits, I’ll show you my proven way to do that.

I offer 1:1 mentorship and coaching to guide you through this process. We’ll uncover what’s holding you back, challenge those beliefs, and build a new foundation for the life you’re meant (and deserve) to live.

You can change your life—and it starts with these small steps. Ready to take the next step? Let’s connect.

Breathe it in, Be Deliberate, and please know change is possible (never too late, never too far gone)!

Chelsea

aka The Deliberate One