If you’re contemplating change.

You’re going to want to read this.

March 10, 2025

Change isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a process—a layered, and if I’m being totally honest, an often frustrating, deeply uncomfortable process.

And if you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or like you keep ending up in the same patterns, it’s not because you lack willpower or discipline (though these are very important factors). It’s because real change happens in stages.

I was just listening to The Owaken Podcast, and they were talking about this concept, which reminded me of when I first learned about the cycle of change. Back then, it was such a massive realization to realize that change isn’t just about deciding and doing—it’s about awareness, resistance, false starts, and deep shifts in identity. And also helpful to realize the reason that before so many workout programs, healthy eating plans, and quitting drinking took a few start/stops.

So if you feel like you should be making changes but somehow aren’t, or if you’re frustrated that you keep falling back into old habits, here’s what’s actually happening.

The 6 Stages of Change

Psychologists have studied this cycle, and while it can look different for everyone, it usually follows these six stages:

1. Pre-contemplation:

AKA Blissful Ignorance (Or, "This Isn't a Problem... Right?")

At this stage, you don’t even realize change is needed. You might feel fine, even though your body, mind, or relationships are showing signs that something’s off. Maybe people around you are dropping hints (“You seem really stressed lately.”), but you brush it off.

Which means…

• You’re in denial about the issue.

• You might feel defensive if someone suggests you need to change.

• You dismiss information that challenges your current behaviours.

I’ll be honest—if you’re in this stage, my posts, podcasts, presence will likely irritate you. They’ll poke at something you don’t want to see. But sometimes, irritation is a seed. You might not act on it now, but eventually, it starts to grow.

2. Contemplation:

“Okay, Maybe There’s Something Here…”

This is when awareness starts creeping in. You’re beginning to recognize the problem, but you’re not sure what to do about it yet. You might start researching, listening to podcasts, or reading books, but you haven’t committed to taking action.

What happens in this stage?

• You feel stuck between wanting change and fearing it.

• Overthinking kicks in—"What if I fail?" "What if I make the wrong choice?"

• You gather a ton of information but struggle to move forward.

This is where my work really resonates. I help you sort through the noise, get clear on what’s actually holding you back, and stop looping in the thinking phase without action.

3. Preparation:

Lining Up Your Ducks (But Still Not Jumping In)

Here, you’re starting to plan. You might sign up for a course, schedule a consult, or tell yourself, Next Monday, I’m starting for real (for real lol). It feels like progress (and it is), but there’s still resistance to actually doing the thing.

You might…

• Second-guess yourself.

• Start making small, low-risk changes instead of committing fully.

• Have self-doubt creeping in—"Can I actually do this?"

I can help you see that you don’t need to have everything perfectly figured out before you start (you can listen to this podcast episode about starting for more context). You don’t need a grand plan. You just need to start. I guide you in taking imperfect action so you don’t stay stuck in planning mode forever.

4. Action:

The Messy Middle

This is where you actually start changing. It’s exciting, but (spoiler alert) it’s also hard as hell. Your old habits are pulling at you. Your mind is throwing out excuses. You’re uncomfortable, and everything in you wants to go back to what’s familiar.

You are going to experience…

• Resistance and self-sabotage showing up in big ways.

• Hitting roadblocks and start questioning whether it’s worth it.

• The initial excitement wearing off, and recognize that discipline is needed.

That’s why I keep you accountable. I help you recognize when resistance is sneaky and teach you how to show up for yourself even when motivation dips. This is where breathwork, mindset recalibration, and self-compassion become crucial.

5. Maintenance:

Making It Who You Are

At this stage, you’ve been doing the thing for a while. You’re feeling better, stronger, more in control. But—and this is a big one—this is also when complacency can set in.

Because we are creatures of our subconscious thoughts, habits, and behaviours….

• You assume you’re “cured” and loosen up on your habits.

• Life throws you a curveball (new schedule, more stress etc), and you struggle not to slip back.

• Old patterns creep in, and you wonder, "Why is this happening again?"

Integration into every facet of your life is critical. I show you how to integrate change so it becomes part of who you are—not just a phase. We work on staying committed even when life gets busy, stressful, or unpredictable. Show you the power in keeping promises to yourself.

6. Relapse:

The Slip (That Doesn’t Have to Be the End)

This isn’t an official step, but it happens. Whether it’s falling back into old thought patterns, skipping workouts, or going back to an old habit you swore you were done with—relapse is part of the process.

You might

• Feel like a failure.

• Experience shame kickings in, making it harder to get back on track.

• Question whether you’re even capable of real change.

Having me in your corner to remind you that relapse isn’t the end—it’s a lesson. We don’t start over from scratch; we course correct. And if you let yourself learn from it instead of spiralling into shame, you’ll come back stronger.

So, Where Are You in the Cycle?

The hardest part of change is thinking you should already be changed.

I’ve spent a lot of time in that space, thinking I should be further ahead, more healed, over this by now.

But this is a process. And no matter where you’re at—whether you’re just starting to feel irritated by the idea of change or you’re deep in the messy middle—I’m here to help you move through it.

If you’re feeling stuck in contemplation or preparation, the best thing you can do is take one small step forward.

If you’re ready to break through resistance and move forward in a way that actually sticks, check out The Resistance Report. It’ll help you spot the hidden ways you’re holding yourself back—and how to push through. Click here to book your report! Currently on sale for March break!

In the meantime, breathe it in, be deliberate and please be good to yourself.

Chelsea