This is where I learned I was mailing it in….
From Surface-Level Growth to Real Transformation
I thought I was doing everything right. I was showing up—reading, learning, checking all the self-care boxes. But something wasn’t clicking. I was still circling the same doubts, still caught in hesitation, still holding back in ways I couldn’t put my finger on.
The truth? I was doing everything performatively. I big ol virtue signal.
Yes, I was taking care of myself—but not in the ways that truly mattered. I wasn’t going deep enough. I wasn’t asking for help. I wasn’t fully investing in myself in a way that actually moved me forward. And that was impacting everything—how I showed up with my clients, my partner, and most importantly, with myself.
That moment of awareness changed everything.
The Lie We Tell Ourselves: "I Have Enough Tools."
I used to believe that I had all the resources I needed. I mean, the internet is overflowing with free advice. Podcasts, Instagram wisdom, self-help books—I thought I could just figure it out. And if I wasn’t moving forward? I must not be trying hard enough.
But,
More knowledge doesn’t equal more progress.
More strategies don’t mean better execution.
More free content doesn’t replace real, deep, transformational support.
I wasn’t lacking information. I was lacking trust—trust in myself, trust in the process, trust in others who had walked the path before me.
of course there’s a Cost to Staying Stuck
I hesitated to invest in myself in any meaningful way because I didn’t fully believe in my ability to make it work. I was afraid of wasting time, energy, and money. But in reality, staying stuck was costing me so much more.
The mental exhaustion of second-guessing every decision.
The frustration of watching patterns repeat themselves.
The energy drain of trying to piece everything together on my own.
The missed opportunities that I wasn’t prepared to step into.
I had to put the scarcity aside and take a leap. Not just in finances, but in commitment to myself. Because nothing changes until you decide to do something differently.
I had to Trust Myself to Go Deeper
The shift wasn’t about finding the "perfect" program, mentor, or method. It was about recognizing that I needed to be in spaces where I was truly supported, challenged, and held accountable.
I started to see the repetitive cycles for what they were: a sign that I wasn’t actually trusting myself to break them. That I wasn’t letting myself receive the guidance I knew I needed. That I was still playing it safe.
The moment I stepped beyond that fear—beyond the surface level—I felt it.
A new level of confidence.
A deeper understanding of my patterns.
A willingness to receive real guidance.
A trust in my own ability to make it work.
What I Did to Move Forward
First, I went back to the foundation I had laid:
Breath: Regulating my nervous system so I could actually think clearly. And not just 5 minutes in the morning, but deeper journeys every single week
Meditation: Creating space to listen instead of just react.
Nourishment: Food, water, and movement that actually supported my energy.
Consistency: Small, powerful habits instead of all-or-nothing bursts of motivation.
Then, I did something different—I stopped waiting. I invested in support that pushed me beyond my old limits. I stopped trying to figure it all out alone. I started trusting those who had walked the path ahead of me.
And suddenly, the things I had been waiting for started happening. The opportunities, the clarity, the next steps—they were always there. I just hadn’t been in the right mindset to see them.
There Are No Prerequisites for Growth
We tell ourselves we need to be ready before we take the next step. That we need more proof, more certainty, more confidence before we move forward.
Growth doesn’t work like that.
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need to wait for the "right" moment.
You don’t need another six months of hesitation.
You just need the willingness to want better for yourself. And you need to trust that the right support will help you get there.
What This Means for You
If you see yourself in any of this—if you feel like you’ve been circling the same cycles, waiting for clarity, knowing deep down that you’re not going all in on yourself yet—this is your sign.
There’s no perfect moment to start. The only moment is now.
You’ve already taken the first step by being here—by seeking out new perspectives, questioning old patterns, and opening yourself to transformation. Now, let’s take it further.
You can listen to the latest episode of The Deliberate Exchange Podcast where I talk about getting in my own way and how my mentor bothered the shit out of me until I asked myself some questions.
If this resonated with you, reply and tell me: What’s the biggest belief you’ve had to let go of to move forward?
Or, if you're ready for deeper support, consider joining my free Perspective Sessions. Happening March 7 and March 27th. An opportunity for you to be in community and get some 1:1 coaching in real time. Sign up here !
Because everything changes the moment you decide it does.
Breathe it in, Be Deliberate, and please be good to yourself.
Chelsea
The Deliberate One
